Ridiculous

A couple of random, odd things about me. I have some good news to share, but I won’t, because somehow in my mind I know that if I dare to whisper the words I will be jinxing the good news in some way and it won’t happen. This is one of the odd things. As my therapist said once, when I refused to talk about having a healthy baby when I was pregnant for fear of jinxing him, “Do you really think you’re THAT important to the universe?” And the answer is, yes, yes I do. So I need to be preparing for the good news, and making arrangements, but I have done nothing because to do these things would be ADMITTING THAT IT MIGHT HAPPEN, and then it won’t. I emailed my mom today and said “IF this happens…” instead of saying “WHEN this happens…” Once I am certain that the good thing is really and truly going to happen, I will share it.


Another weird thing? I SAVE everything because I always think there will be an instance where I will want that exact thing and I’ll be really pissed that I already used it. Case in point, every year when I would go trick or treating for Halloween, we would have to throw out the bag of candy from last year, because other than eating a couple token pieces of candy I would leave the rest of it in the cupboard, positive that sometime I would have an insatiable craving for candy and I would NEED that bag. Same thing with Christmas candy in my stocking, and Easter candy in my Easter basket. And guys, I love me some candy, I really do. I used to do the same thing to candles; I would never burn them because then eventually they would be gone and what if I really liked that candle? A* made me break this habit, though, mostly because he was tired of the boxes and boxes of unused candles he had to move every time we switched houses. I had one that was a gift my sophomore year of high school that I never touched. I also have some chapstick from the early 80’s, kept because I really liked the smell and thought that I may need someday. I realize this makes me seem like a hoarder, but it’s only certain things that I do this with. Off the top of my head I’m thinking candy, candles, books, make-up (which is really good for your skin when it is a hundred years old) and certain clothes.

You can never really know when you might need a year old Butterfinger, and of course they sell them NOWHERE and the only one in existence is in my pantry. I definitely need to save that.