The End of the Fleas and the Start of Emotional Breakdowns
In the meantime, I have been without my medication for over a week now, and the effects are starting to be noticeable. I take Zoloft, and since I have not had it my emotional breakdowns have gotten progressively worse. Poor A*. Yesterday I yelled at him for wanting to have hot dogs for dinner, this outburst closely on the heels of the previous one for only putting $5 in the gas tank. Most of the breakdowns start with extreme yelling and frustration, followed by a quick downslide into crying. The side of my brain that is not insane knows that I am being unreasonable, and tries to talk me out of it, but the larger part of my brain that is crying out for some Zoloft ignores it and keeps on screaming. Meanwhile, any tiny little thing that goes wrong... or not even wrong, just not the way I expected it to go... makes me fly off the handle. I called my doctor and he has some samples waiting for me to pick up as soon as I leave work. I am like a recovering addict, all I can think of is those little yellow happy pills. For A*'s sake, I am going to pick them up in about an hour. I called him at work to relay the news, and he was ecstatic.
However, the next time he pisses me off, what am I going to blame it on? I'm sure that I'll find something.
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