Little Bits of Pixie Dust

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thourougly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, what a ride!!"

Monday, April 10, 2006


I love the internet, I really really do. It helps me pass the time when I am bored, it tells me useful tidbits of information, and most importantly it keeps me up to date on all of my important blogger friends and what they are doing. But sometimes, the internet can give you too much. There are certain times when you should avoid the "helpful" internet. I found this out the hard way, when I was surfing around looking for people that had had a breast reduction. As the surgery date looms, I get more and more nervous, so I thought that perhaps a positive experience would make me feel better. Wrong! I found a personal journal that was one woman's journey through the surgery process, from thinking of having it done all the way to about two or three months post op. I'm not going to give her name or the site, but let me just tell you that I read it thouroughly and very nearly called the doctor and told him to cancel the whole thing. This woman had nothing but bad experiences. She didn't get down to the size she wanted. Her nipples were oddly shaped. She had way more pain than she had expected. She described, in detail, the patterns of yellow and green bruises that bloomed all the way under her arms. I know that I shouldn't have, but I kept reading. I didn't finish it, because I started to get a little teary eyed, but I read enough.

I was already nervous, but the nervousness was tinged with gleeful excitement for this procedure that I have wanted to have since the first time I saw someone making the "huge boob" international hand gesture and pointing at me. Now I just feel like maybe it ISN'T the right decison, maybe I am being too hasty and I should think about it more. As if ten + years wasn't enough! Not to mention, if I hear one more well intentioned person say to me "I WISH I had those boobs, why the heck would you get rid of them? Can you save some for me (har har har)?" I want to tell those people to go down to the grocery store and purchase a couple good sized watermelons. They should weigh over ten pounds each. Now strap these watermelons to your chest, in a garment that won't cover the entire melon, but will have bulbous bits of the fruit overflowing from the thing. Walk around all day with this weight on your chest... no, walk around a couple days, just to get the full effect, and then come back and tell me that you don't know why I'm getting this done.

I know I'm just getting scared, and not being reasonable. I know this, and I know that one woman's story shouldn't be this big of a deal to me. But I keep thinking... what if I am that woman?? What if the EXACT same things happen to me that happened to her??

What if I wake up and I have a nipple on my forehead??


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