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Okay, I know I'm hopelessly behind the times, but A* and I just got a membership to Sam's Club last night. Oh my god, I heart Sam's Club. I can't believe I have been missing out on all the retail goodness up until yesterday! How could I have survived? We managed to buy flowers, two pillows, and a gigantic package of chicken breasts... all at the same place!! The possibilities are endless. I'm such a dork, but I can't wait to go back again. Our visit was cut short because we had to be somewhere, and I feel like I really missed important stuff. Who knows the deals that I could be getting? And the sizes of the products boggle my mind. I was wandering around the aisles in awe, when I spotted Tide in a huge container that was on sale. A* really likes laundry, so I figured he would be excited. I shrieked for him to come and look at the ginormous Tide, and went to pick it up. That fucker must have weighed a million pounds. How does one do laundry with something that is too big to even pick up? I guess you could put it up on a shelf and just pour the detergent in a cup, but how would you even lift the Tide onto a shelf? I literally could not pick this thing up. A* gently steered me away from the giant Tide, telling me that I would most certainly drop the mammoth container on myself, and then I wouldn't even be able to use it. "But," I told him as we left the aisle, "we would have enough detergent to get lots of blood stains out!"
Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend! Have fun!! If you see a girl with a grossly unproportioned chest that is leaking all over her, come and say hi. I might offer to take you to Sam's Club.
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