Break, Broke, Broken
Broke is when your son needs the next size up in underwear but you can’t afford to get them until pay day. Broke is when you eat noodles three days in a row because you can get a box for a dollar. Broke is making every meal from the dollar store. Broke is stealing tissue boxes from work because you can’t afford toilet paper. Broke is using your employee ID to get food in the employee cafeteria and taking it home for dinner.
A* and I both work, really really hard. Yes, we have made MANY stupid decisions in the past, and haven’t always been the best at budgeting our money. But the problem that we constantly run in to is that we can’t make it to the next paycheck, therefore causing us to borrow money from somewhere else, so by the time the paycheck does come, we owe all of it out to other people anyway. We are far, far down the black hole and life just keeps shoveling dirt on top of our heads. I want more than anything to be able to relax, to not worry how we are going to pay for the basic things that a person needs to survive. There are so many times that I want to do something with C., or buy him something cool, and I am not able to. Like I said, A* and I both work hard, we both have full time jobs, we try so, so hard and never seem to get anywhere.
My greatest wish is that someday I will be able to go to the grocery store WITHOUT my calculator or my budget. In the meantime, I guess we’ll just keep pretending.
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