Little Bits of Pixie Dust

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thourougly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, what a ride!!"

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


I am not a fighter. Let's make that clear... in all of my years, I have never been involved in a physical fight. Now, that's not to say that at one time someone didn't tell me that they were going to beat me up, and then I told one of my tough friends who in turn told the bully if you even mess with D.... but that's another story. I am not a fighter, and today I was involved in a brawl.

I went on my break at work, just like always. As I was leaving the break area, I heard snatches of some loud talking, but I didn't think anything of it because some of the ladies around here can get a little spirited. However, the loudness began to get louder, and I realized that these women were yelling at the top of their lungs at each other. Ignoring them, I went and stood with another girl waiting for the elevator. The yellers continued down the hall. I was praying and praying that they would not get in the elevator with us, but guess what- yeah, they did. By now I am uncomfortably close to these two women who are yelling at each other about "you said this, he said that, I know this..." I was trying to look at the floor, the elevator door, anything to avoid making eye contact with these angry ladies. The elevator door closed, and we were trapped. The yelling escalated. The two other women with me who were not involved were staring at each other and making embarrassed eye movements. Suddenly, there is a commotion at the back of the elevator, and the women (Angry Woman 1 and Angry Woman 2) were in each other's faces. AW1 drew her fist back to pop AW2... and something went wrong in the delivery, because instead of landing a punch square in AW2's face, it landed on the corner of my shoulder.

Yeah, that's right... she hit me!! I was an innocent bystander, but I was the one getting beat! Some of AW1 and AW2's friends were holding them back, and it was at this point that I moved over to the other side of the elevator. I don't know what I expected to happen over in that corner, since I had already been a causulty, but I wasn't thinking clearly. I was still trying to pretend that I wasn't seeing any of this. The elevator finally stopped at our floor, and I ran out of there as fast as I could. I heard a supervisor gasp, "Are those our employees?" as I sprinted past, and I assume that the supervisor broke up the fight.

Of course, then I had to tell the story half a million times, and someone that was in there with me told HR that I had gotten hit, so then I had to tell the story again to the HR person, and then I had to tell it some more when word got out that I was a witness. I don't know what, if anything, will happen to AW1 or AW2, but let's just say that I am steering clear of either of them for at least a couple of weeks.

I am not a fighter.

Friday, August 25, 2006


After the last entries total depressed feel, I figured I would give you something a little more cheerful to read. Besides, I didn't put a title on the last one and it shows up weirdly with the first sentence, so I had to put something else up there. So I present to you, the past two weeks, in a not very original form.

* A*'s birthday, despite my not having a present for him and feeling extremely guilty about that, actually turned out to be really fun. The first celebration took place at his sister's house, and A*, his sister, his mom and I sat around and drank lots and lots of boxed wine and beer, played some cards, and then at around midnight, with all that alcohol coursing around in our system, we decided that we needed to go dancing. And dancing we did, till we closed the bar. It was great. Highlights of the evening were A*'s mom shouting out, "Jose!" at regular intervals because she was drinking margaritas, A* running into a car dealer in the bathroom, and me sitting in a large puddle when I went outside the bar to get some air.
* What was not so nice was when I woke up the next morning with my head pounding and threw up all that boxed wine. Not recommened.
* A*'s second birthday celebration was at my parent's house. My dad cooked him a nice fat steak on the grill (his favorite) and we all sat around the table and talked wedding plans. Not so nice was when my dad yelled that it was "Bullshit!" that I voiced maybe wanting my brother to walk me down the aisle. So nice when my dad went on to say that he knows in his heart who my dad is, so if the bio dad wants to walk me too, that's okay.
* The car, oh the car! I love it. It is so nice going out in the morning for work and not having to say prayers, kiss the engine, hit anything with a hammer... it just starts. Nice.
* A* made a trip to the emergency room when his face swelled up to twice it's size and his tooth hurt him so badly that he almost passed out. I watched in fascination as a huge needle loaded with lydocaine went into his gums. Wal-Green's all night pharmacy so that we could get some Vicodin was great.
* A* finally made it to the dentist, and it turns out that two of his three remaining wisdom teeth need to come out, but as of right now the infection in his mouth is too bad for them to do it, so they killed the nerve and he will have to go back in two weeks. With $265 because his company does not provide dental insurance.
* Still got that weight on my chest, but am trying as hard as I can not to let it bother me like it was. Made me feel better when I heard that a friend and her husband, whom I thought were doing great, got their electric shut off, as horrible as that sounds. I just felt better knowing that we are not the only ones struggling.

There, now we're all caught up. On tap for this weekend... a drive by of a wedding that my BFF was a part of, but is now not a part of, and some sick part of her wants to see things, a trip to the grocery store, and a thourough cleaning of the apartment. Some things in the fridge have probably already sprouted their own legs and are walking around torturing the cats right now.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Well... we got a car, finally. And now that I have signed my life away for three years, I walk around with a constant knot in my stomach because I'm worried about making the payments. I have never had a car payment before, I have always just bought my cars outright. Perhaps that is why I have only ever owned shitty cars and they break down all the time. Anyway, this has just been a really bad month for us. It seems like the whole world decided to look down at us and just vomit on our heads. Finances are, in a word, horrible. I am worried and stressed all the time. I am forever "figuring" something in my head, going over and over my mental list of bills and paychecks. A* and I don't talk about anything anymore except "What are we going to do?" I feel really badly for him, because he has this old fashioned notion that The Man should take care of the woman, and he feels bad that he is not living up to his job. I, of course, tell him that we do not live in the 1800's anymore and it is perfectly acceptable to live off your wife... if only I had something we could live off of. Anyway, he feels that he isn't doing his duty as my fiance.
A lot of days, I feel like staying in bed, pulling the covers over my head, and staying there for a loooong period of time. That way no one can find me and tell me any more bad news. We are definitely at the bottom of the barrel, and I am trying desperately to claw my way back up to the top. A* has been working overtime, I have been working overtime, we haven't bought anything for ourselves in so long (except a car, which was really a necessity). A*'s birthday is this weekend, and I don't think we even have the money for me to get him a card. A card! That makes ME feel like the world's shittiest girlfriend. And he's been working so hard, I really wanted to do something special for him...

Well, that's it. I just wanted to let you all know why I haven't been around in a while. Been trying to get my head on straight, swallow that knot in my stomach, and press on. Because really, there is no other choice.